wateva

2010-10-20T02:55:00.002+08:00

.:Reasoning:.

i don't get it when some people say that 'at least you got to know,eventually'.seriously.it's supposed to make things better?and also,the difference between a guy friend and another girlfriend is because girls gossip?there's no reasoning in that either.and things like,i didn't tell you because i don't want to hurt you?that's really weird.women say things like equality,being on par with men and shit like that.so,why is there still double standards?i really don't get it.i'm not being a sexist here,but seriously,sometimes i just don't understand how women think like.if it was told initially,it wouldn't be as hard as it as.finding out on his own and being told eventually is what makes it hard to swallow.because he feels that,there should be a certain degree of understanding between 2 friends of the opposite sex.even though the guy has feelings for the girl,and the girl knows it.

it will hurt less if the girl told him earlier.at least he's the first to know.instead of finding out for himself and being told eventually.after a week.it might have the same outcome,but i believe that it will surely be less painful for the guy.because i believe that it gets more painful to swallow in time.the longer you keep it from him,the more hurt he'll be when he finds out.and don't let him find out for himself,he'll feel betrayed.

to the girls out there.even if the guy still has feelings for you after you told him that he's not the one,if you have a boyfriend and are still friends with the guy,he should be the first to know.so that he could recover faster from his unrequited love.if he can't get over it,too bad for him.as it is,too bad for me as well.

and that is my reasoning.

2010-10-17T03:30:00.002+08:00

.:I'm worn out:.

fuck this shit.fuck life and fuck everything else in between.you aint got no shit on me.i'm a sore loser so fuck that shit.it's not fucking worth it.wasted tears.wasted years.karma hit me hard.fuck karma.i'm happy for you.*sound of hands clapping* i was stupid,am stupid and will always be stupid.how idiotic of me.hah!i saw it coming.really,i did.but again and again,i did nothing.and i'm at the losing end yet again.yay me.fuck this.all the best with your fairy tale.i'll always be your nightmare.the person that you know is dead.asyraf g is dead.all the best to you and i'm going to really try and keep my promise this time.you won't hear a word from me again.ever,again.

My blood,poisoned with hate and despair,
My heart,wounded and bare.
As much as i want to stay,
It's best for me to go away.

Farewell Juliet,
My sweet,lovely Juliet.
It was fun,
You killed me in more ways than one.

-The fallen lad(asyraf G)

2010-10-11T23:59:00.002+08:00

.:It's really been awhile:.

alot has happened withing these few months.i'm finally back to being a civilian.finally got back my pink ic and such.now,to find a proper job.the current job tht i'm holding is kinda,ionoe,not satisfying.i shall stop there.hari raya came and passed.not much of a big deal.life goes on.

i've been listening to alot of kpop nowadays.i feel weid.a goodkind of weird.haha not listening to metal that much.not complaining either.new metal songs sounds so deathcore-ish with numerous breakdowns and such.it's really,very annoying.

and partly because,indulging myself in kpop and korean variety shows makes me happy.and not think of the pathetic little me that i already am.a form of escapism from life itself.i've been running after the same thing for months and months and it's getting nowhere.sometimes it makes me think that i'm not really significant.so i guess,i won't ever achieve that kind of happiness.not yet at least.i can safely say that i've stopped finding my 'one'.finally.it gets very tiring after all those years.lol now,i'm always in my own little bubble listening to my favourite kpop bands and such.at least i won't feel sad.

i sound super pathetic.i know.haha but,oh wells.on a lighter note,my band's doing good.just finished our 4th original.i'm uber excited.please please please let my band perform once before the year ends.it will be our achievement.=D

well,i guess,that's it for now.i miss ranting on my blog.haha annyeong!!^.^V

2010-09-03T01:59:00.001+08:00

.:One Liner:.

imma start moving on.period.

2010-08-25T16:14:00.000+08:00

.:Ponder:.

My computer has been giving me problems as of late.
So,I'm attempting to blog on my blackberry.ahaha
Hope this thing works.it's weird having to type
Sentence by sentence because I don't really know
The space limit.so bear with me for a bit.=p

Life has been okay.nothing much to complain about
But,I'm guilty of not being contented as well.
Can't blame me right?I mean,its so annoying that
Everytime I tried,it will always have the same
Outcome.annoying much.really.

In 2 weeks time,I'll taste salvation.something I've
Been looking forward for since the day I was
Enlisted.ORD OHHH.I would love to shout this phrase
At the top of my lungs.but,at the same time,sadness.
2 years,gone by in a blink of an eye.all those times
Spent walking around in uniform acting cool and such.
It's really something to be missed.ahahaha though,
Sometimes it might not go the way I plan it to be,
All's good in the end.

Soon,this chapter will come to a close and a new
Chapter will begin.I'm really looking forward to
School.to be able to start anew and stuff.but,
Scared of being an outcast due to my age.ahaha
Not something important but yeah.=p

I miss blogging,really.so,take care readers and til
I blog again,have a good fasting month and god bless.
Assalammualaikum.=)

2010-07-22T17:08:00.001+08:00

.:an influx of emotions:.

i'm going to take a break from blogging.i'll be back if i have anything interesting to share.i might update this blog of mine either saturday or sunday.but,for now,take care and god bless.

2010-07-08T04:42:00.002+08:00

.:World Cup:.

for the first time ever,the team that i've been supporting since the beginning,made it to the finals.for the first time ever,Spain will play in the finals.and hopefully,for the first time ever,Spain will be World Champions of soccer.watch out Oranje,we're going to paint soccer city RED!

2010-06-28T17:27:00.003+08:00

.:Ponder:.

sometimes,it's hard to keep your feelings in check.when you thought it won't happen,fact is,it's already happening.it's not hard to fall in love.as such,it's not hard to get hurt.and bit by bit,i'm losing my faith.no one else is to blame but myself.for letting it get to me.wait and see shall we,if it will be different this time round.

2010-06-07T00:56:00.002+08:00

.:random:.

and suddenly i felt the darkness crashing down on me.
binding me in silence,without mercy.
and patiently i wait,for a light,
which is ever so far,from sight.

it's going to be a long road.but,i'll pull through.i hope.

2010-06-05T05:18:00.002+08:00

.:the start of the end:.

today shall be the day i lost all hope on love.it's been a wild ride these past few years.ups,downs and turnarounds.when all i want,is to be with you,i guess,that's the very thing i can't have.i'm finally letting go.because i love you too much and also,we both know that it won't happen.you said it yourself,before.even though,everyday i pray silently,to be with you,little by little i'm losing it.

the endless wishes i made upon the many shooting stars didn't help either.i'm just but another boy that's sooo in love with you.the only difference between me and them is how long i've known you for.times when you said the 3 words to me,i smiled.very widely,but at the back of my mind,i know you meant it in a friendly way,as friends.sometimes i wish,that it meant more than that.more than being friends.

i wish you all the best in finding your mr right.i'm just sad that,i won't be that person.for all the times i've said,i miss you and i love you.do know that i meant it.in more ways than one.and i'm not angry about yesterday.it's just that,i felt insignificant.i know your friends are more important to you,but i was waiting for your call,or maybe,just a text.haix.i'm sorry if i'm asking too much.but,no worries,i won't bother you that much from now on.do take care of yourself.drink lots of water and have lots of rest.poly can be very tiring,i know.

and,for the final time,i love you.='( take care,love.

-asyraf G

2010-05-30T01:13:00.002+08:00

.:back to my roots:.

di saat ku memerlukanmu,kau tiada,
adakah ini suatu andaian semata-mata?
disaat ku merinduimu,
bertahun sudah berlalu.

selama ini,adakah ia hanya suatu mimpi,
membuatku keliru,antara fantasi dan realiti?
ku termenung kearah langit yang cerah,
terlintas di fikiranku,wajahmu yang indah.

apa yang terjadi,hanya tuhan yang tahu,
kau telah pergi jauh dari sisiku.
mungkin,tiada jodoh antara kita,
mungkin,aku bukan yang teristimewa.

walaupun hanya sementara,
kisah percintaan kita.
kata-katamu,tidakkan ku lupa,
pertemuan kita bagai sebuah novel cinta.

ku hanya dapat berdoa,untuk kebahagiaanmu,
ku berharap,kau takkan melupakanku.
cintaku hanyalah untukmu,
akan ku menunggu kepulanganmu,sepanjang hayatku.

-asyraf G

2010-05-29T01:29:00.001+08:00

.:long overdue:.

Kept dwelling in my own fears,
Can't seem to stop these tears.
You make me smile,and made me cry,
It's just so hard to say goodbye.

To you,i gave my hopes and dreams,
And now,i'm haunted by my own screams.
I know,you want to take it slow,
But,how can i,when i'm always feeling low.

Is it wrong to say i miss you,
When i really do?
Is it wrong to say i love you,
When i'm always thinking of you?

And such is the pain,i have to go through,
Just to make my dreams come true.
Only time,will tell,
Is it pure bliss or is it hell.

Sometimes,how i wish life was fair,
Living in a world without any care.
But alas,it is never easy,
Oh how i wish,i could be free.

-asyraf G

2010-05-28T04:36:00.002+08:00

.:another love poem:.

if i said,i love you,
would you dismiss it,like you always do?
if i said,i can't live without you,
would you even care,to find out if it's true?

a million questions,
masked by a million reasons.
but,answered,they are not,
is it me,or is it,you,who's at fault?

my heart,gone through trying times,
is love,a sin,or is it,a crime?
never knew what love is,
is it really,a feeling of utter bliss?

as darkness falls,i closed my eyes,
if love,is beautiful,why is it filled with lies?
all the pain and heartbreaks,
is it worth it,when your heart is at stake?

i guess,i'll never know,
let my life,go with the flow.
i'm sure,one day,it'll happen,
when love,will come by,with endless passion.

-asyraf G

2010-05-25T19:47:00.002+08:00

.:a tinge of hope:.

when no one's looking,
i,lock myself up,tearing.
even when i tried stopping,
these tears,won't stop falling.

one by one,it crashed down to the ground,
in my own misery,i drown.
such is the fate,of a lonely man,
wandering away,in this barren land.

over and over,it never ends,
i'm digging my own grave,with my own bare hands.
this darkened heart,
played with,like a deck of cards.

i've lost all hope,
my neck,tied on a rope.
but please,spare me,from this hate,
for love,i shall leave it to fate.

as i lay my head,down to rest,
i think about love,that i detest.
but,give up,i will not,
i will give it,one last shot.

-asyraf G

2010-05-21T03:03:00.002+08:00

.:Untitled:.

I dream of a dream that is never going to be,
I dream of love,pure and deep.
That one true love,ever so surreal,
Will i ever,get to feel?

Fairy tales never seem to exist,
Why is happily ever after,that i seem to seek?
Never to know,and never to feel,
Will this heart ever be healed?

Day and night,i wonder,
Do wishes come true,or do they,never?
Wish on a shooting star,will it come true,
What have i got to lose?

A man can dream of love,can't he,
Even if,it's just a hopeful dream.
Never mind,the hurt and the pain,
I will find my love,once again.

As i pen my thoughts,
In my own words,i got lost.
Love,is something i can't live without,
Even when,i've tried to live in doubt.

-asyraf G

2010-05-17T01:02:00.002+08:00

.:untitled:.

even though we can't be together.do know that i still love you the same.i thank God that i am able to know you.when all else fails,i know,i could depend on you for a listening ear.i hope we will stay the same,throughout our lives.cox i can't imagine life without you.=) you are my friend,my confidante and my love.a part of my heart will always be with you.=) i miss you,love.

2010-05-13T21:49:00.002+08:00

.:the reason why i'm hooked:.

so this is a perfect example why i'm hooked to Glee.haha i remembered this song from like,way back?it was a no 1 hit in sooo many countries.and i kinda forgot this song existed.i wanted to embed the video here but,it was disabled.so i'll just post up the link instead.heh.do enjoy!!=D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpjBBVHtNJI

2010-05-13T00:41:00.002+08:00

.:The fate of man:.

for i shalt not be fazed by thy silence.
for a phoenix shalt once again,rise from it's own ashes.
hast you not see my sadness.
hast you not see,thy love is what i seek.

it's hard being me.i'm getting tired.

2010-05-07T16:00:00.002+08:00

.:wondering:.

what is it about you that made me intrigued to know more about you?is it your intelligence or is it just your presence?it was really a nce change of pace.to have intelligent conversations with.(i find it appealing,really =p) and the fact that we somehow or rather have the same musical preferances.it was really awesome to be able to talk about metal and what nots,without being judged.(because seriously,some people still think that metal=worship the devil.that is soooooooo 2001)

but all in all,it was really nice to know you.i hope to see you online soon.=D and hopefully get to go on a date with you.heeheeee =p *wishes*

2010-04-28T02:31:00.011+08:00

.:Ponder:.

sometimes,without realising,i find myself falling for you over and over again.i'm sorry.please accept my sincere apologies.i'll try not to.=(

p/s:and i don't want you to be my number one.i want you to be my only one.

2010-04-24T00:02:00.003+08:00

.:back:.

it's been a while.since i last blogged.birthday celebrations with the family was love.although we didn't brought any camera along.which kinda sucks actually.but,ouh wells.Carousel is a must go.i had a pleasant surprise with the birthday cake and the song the crew sang.it was really,unexpected.hahaha and plus,i have a new pair of shoes!!=D

so,fast frward to 15th of april.Lamb of God was in town and it was hell lot of fun.the moshing,the headbanging and the atmosphere was off the hooks.it was a night to remember.

so,as some of you might know,i got accepted into NYP.Media studies and Communication.i thank god for this second chance in life.and i thank NYP for giving me an opportunity to be good at something that i'm interested in.=) next step,is to reserve a spot.which,i'm going to do on monday.=D and i'll be starting school next april,insyaallah.

chalet was a blast.had loads of fun.from the preparation to the end.it was awesome.and i can safely say that it is a success.had loads of fun with the dudes of my team.=D

now,back to life.i feel empty all of a sudden.it's an endless cycle.sheesh.tell me something i don't know.5 months to ORD-OHH..i really3 can't wait.

so here i am in this room of mine.thinking and pondering of my sad life.hahaha (self pity here) i need someone to love.haha open applications starts today.anyone interested,drop me a tag.haahahaha *i don't think this will work* ahhaah so goodnight,world.until next time.the chronicles of asyraf G.

on a lighter note,i'm in love with Glee!!!=D

2010-04-12T03:33:00.001+08:00

.:Ponder:.

here i am,where i was once before.it takes courage to tell me,what you've told me.and i appreciate your honesty.i'm here for you if you need someone to talk to.because,i'm your friend.=)

2010-04-09T18:46:00.002+08:00

.:the state of Nirvana:.

i am at peace with myself.i'm so much better than this.i won't let anything faze me.if goodbye is what you want to say,i guess,goodbye it is.just let me know,i'll disappear from your life.

i am what i am.i can't be bothered with all these games anymore.i'm here if you want to text.

2010-04-09T01:10:00.008+08:00

.:The Spell:.

i'm not sure why the silent treatment.but i just hope everything's fine on your side.i'd like to dedicate this song to you.though you do not know of the existence of my blog.

this song was itroduced to me by my colleague and good friend,hidhir.hahaha so readers,enjoy the song.=)

2010-04-05T12:22:00.001+08:00

.:It's just not meant to be:.

the DAE application was unsuccessful.i'm back to where i was before.haix.this sucks.

2010-04-02T03:43:00.002+08:00

.:2NE1:.

happy birthday to meeee.happy birthday to meee..happy birthday to asyraf G...happy birthday to meee.hahahahahhahaha!i love my friends.thanks for the gathering and meet up.love every single one of you.hahaha gawddd..i'm already 21.haix.no more fooling around.

Hope Ngee Ann poly will give me the best birthday present ever.Insyaallah.pray for me people.=DD

2010-03-28T01:38:00.002+08:00

.:wonder:.

i'm in a state of confusion.it's hard,to get a grasp on anything nowadays.will be working on my birthday.sheesh.sucky much.but ouh wells,the force wants to celebrate it.so,i can't do anything much about it.ahahha prawn fishing,simpang bedok,carousel and a movie date.that is how i'm going to spend my 21st.ahhahaha and 3 days after that,the deciding moment.

pray for me that i'll get a spot in Ngee Ann poly.so that i can reserve a spot to study in next year.insyaallah.=)

Though i just got to know you,i can't help myself from being drawn towards you.=)

2010-03-16T14:19:00.001+08:00

.:random:.

i miss talking to you on the phone.i miss your voice.i miss having you around all the time.

2010-03-11T22:50:00.003+08:00

.:The time of the year:.

it's the time of the year when i will get hooked to malay songs,and will listen to them almost everyday.ahhahaha this phase,has been happening for a few years.and i've yet to find out why..intriguing isn't it?hahaha

so,life has been the same.getting better,in fact.had awesome fun with people at work.haha NS doesn't seem so bad after all when you have friends like those people.hahaha awesome stuff.only,sometimes,there's bound to be some shit happening.somewhere.and that's kinda a minus point.

an update:
so,TP decided to reject my application.which leaves me with Ngee Ann poly.Ngee Ann Polytechnic School of Mass Communications and Film Sound and Videos.Please take me in!!!=( the results will be out on the 5th of april,and i hope i'll get in.

well,that's about it for my life these days.hope you guys are doing good.or even better than i am.=) and people,Love,not Hate.take care and goodnight world.Peace.=)

Juliet,Juliet....Where art thou,my Juliet..?

2010-03-04T22:45:00.002+08:00

.:DAE:.

2 down.2 to go.hopefully,someone will give me a chance to start anew.please God,help me.

2010-03-04T18:30:00.000+08:00

.:Random:.

i iz inz lovez withz Jennette McCurdy.heheee =p

ok bye

2010-03-04T01:39:00.002+08:00

.:.......:.

i can't figure out a headliner for this post.so i guess,i'll just leave it blank.well,not really blank,but you catch my drift.heh yesterday night is filled with emotions that got me tearing.it sucks really,i kept thinking,why are the girls that i meet nowadays is......eurgh.see,i don't even have a word to describe them.

of waiting,of lies and everything in between.or is it just me?am i,really,that straightforward?or am i just a loser in disguise.(low self esteem alert) pardon me for ranting.no one will read anyways.so yeah,it's just so hard to find someone that genuinely likes you for who you are.it sucks,really.

and i lost the best girl that i know.she knows who she is.to this girl,i hope we can still be friends.i miss having you around and calling me at 3 am in the morning asking if i was asleep.i miss all the jokes and debates that we used to have.and you calling me a jerk and laughing at my stupidity and all.i really hope that we can be how we were before.only this time,i'll try not to fall for you.3 years.it really says something.and you're starting poly soon.i'm sure you'll find your prince charming.

it's been awhile since i wrote a long entry.kinda miss typing and ranting and all those shit nonsense that i will usually write about.it's not that i'm desperate to find a girlfriend.but,sometimes,i just feel empty.that's all.it's not wrong to have a companion right?i do have friends,but sometimes,i just want to feel wanted and needed.

been busy distracting myself these days.sometimes i find myself running out of things to do.even my music playlist is getting old.i guess,2010 will be like the rest of the years.i just hope,i get to find someone who can really stay by me in times of happiness and sadness.it's going to be a long road.surely.

had a dream yesterday about a crush i once had back in poly.haix.sucks,really.well,this is the end of my post.i think this is almost the longest one yet....wait,who gives a shit anyways.nyeh!goodnight world.

2010-02-28T02:15:00.002+08:00

.:Back to how it was:.

It's hard when you're giving me mixed signals,
I need an answer,and i hope that decision is final.
We were fine the week before,
After the weekend,i don't know what's in store.

I'm confused,
Can't help but feel amused.
Am i,just a toy,
That you can play with and annoy?

I have nothing else to say,
I've made it clear almost every other day.
Maybe,i'm rushing you,
But,please,i need some kind of clue.

Why are you treating me this way,
Do you,want to go away?
Every second of the day,i ponder,
Where did i go wrong,i wonder.

Sometimes i feel like breaking down,
I can't help but to frown.
Yes,sometimes i do smile,
But,it's just for a while.

For everything that has happened,
Bit by bit,my spirit,is dampened.
Back at the start,
This is where i nurse my broken heart.

-Asyraf G

2010-02-26T00:15:00.002+08:00

.:an end of a chapter,a new beginning:.

it was hard,to let go.but,i know i had to.sorry for everything.i've tried.really,i have.i hope for the best,for you.it's been a wild ride.i cherish all the little moments that we shared.happy 20th birthday and god bless you.

i guess now,there's nothing more i can do.but to move on.and here i am,where i once was.alone,in the dark.waiting for a star to bright up my life,once again.

This heart aches,for the one true love,
To experience bliss,on the clouds above.
Now,i'm nursing a broken heart,
I was back at where i was,at the start.

2010-02-24T00:41:00.018+08:00

.:Memburu Rindu:.

it's not that i'm angry or mad.i can wait.but,for how long more,i can't really say.i hope you understand.i am,but a human.someone who wants to love,and be loved.if really,your heart isn't for me,i understand.i'm not someone who would force this on you.it's been 8 long months.and i'm still trying.just for that 1 moment.to be with you.a smile,a glance,anything.someday,i hope i will get to see you.in person.i love you.

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2010-01-31T02:15:00.001+08:00

.:untitled:.

Can't help but feel so lonely,
Won't you break this chain and set me free?
Last night,i dreamt of you,
And everynight,i just want to be with you.

because,i love you.and no one else. <3

2010-01-28T23:45:00.002+08:00

.:Updates:.

somebody asked me to update regularly.and i shall.=p ok where do i start?hmm,ahh yes.today is spent,bumming at home.refer to the 'tired' post.ahah so yeah.i'm not sure if i had enough rest but yeah,today is a super lazy day.ahha spent the day sleeping and watching videos on youtube.hahaha and ouh,talking on the phone as well.god,i miss you,now.hehe well,it's late now.i think i'm gna go get a drink and off to bed.hopefully.=)

'i give my heart,to you.
i give my heart,cause nothing can compare in this world to you' <3 =)

2010-01-26T13:34:00.004+08:00

.:Meet me Halfway:.

ok,so i was browsing through youtube.com and came across this cover of meet me halfway by the black eyed peas.i'm not really a fan of electropop/electrohop but this cover is wicked.and plus,it brings out the true emotions of the song.an acoustic cover of the song and i wanna share it with you guys.especially you.=)

2010-01-25T00:37:00.003+08:00

.:tired:.

god,i'm so tired of work.having all sorts of events and it's only the start of the year.and plus,leave freeze til the 1st of feb.gawd.been busy applying for the various polytechnic's.had an interview at Ngee Ann Poly for their mass comm course.and i really3 hope that i nailed it.praying hard.don't really have time for the cranes these days.kinda sad actually.haix.and ouh,you have no idea,how much i'm missing you right now.do take care.and i'm still right here waiting and folding my paper cranes.much <3

crane count:110

2010-01-11T01:50:00.001+08:00

.:Of paper cranes and time:.

folding paper cranes isn't easy.it's mentally tiring.

crane count:79

2010-01-08T20:05:00.003+08:00

.:time:.

you have all the time in the world.i'm still going to fold my paper cranes.i can't just stop now.easily fold 100 cranes a day?maybe.but i'm going to take my time.since,it's,time that you want.i hope when the 1000 cranes are done,you will finally meet me.5 mins.i promise.i won't take longer than that.i'm not sure why i'm doing this.but,i'm doing this for you,nurhafizah.i hope you can see that i'm trying. <3

2010-01-08T15:05:00.003+08:00

.:1000 paper cranes:.

i'm on a mission.to lose weight and to fold 1000 paper cranes.this idea may sound out of this world,but i will do it.current tally:41 paper cranes.so far,the speed/regularity is good.i just hope i won't get lazy anytime soon.*prays.i'm doing this,just for you.because,i can't let go.i want to meet you.=) at least,once.i hope,i'm not asking too much.='(
Crane count:41

2010-01-07T18:56:00.007+08:00

.:Promise by Matchbook Romance:.

What would you say if I asked you not to go
To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
Would you take my hand and never let me go
Promise me you'll never let me go

And now the stars aren't out tonight,
But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like goodbye?
These memories can't replace,
These wishes I wished and dreams I chased
Take this broken heart and make it right

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy
I never thought I'd be the one to say
Please don't, well please don't leave me

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy (easy, easy, easy...)

Take my hand and never let me go,
Take my hand and never let me go,
Promise me...
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
Make this last forever

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know, you're not making this easy

You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy

I'll fall asleep tonight, 'cause that brings me closer to you

2010-01-05T22:16:00.002+08:00

.:through struggle:.

the lyrics of this song,as played by as i lay dying.is really something to ponder about.'only through struggle have i found rest'.it's getting hard,now.i need an answer,something.anything.without me realising,7 months has gone by.

all i'm asking for is a short meet-up.none to fancy.5-10 mins if you're really uncomfortable.i'm holding on to a thread called hope.please don't let me slip away.please.i beg of you.

2009-12-24T09:34:00.004+08:00

.:Hello:.

Good morning readers of cliffphoenix.blogspot.com.how are you guys feeling these days.haha okay,it's been awhile since i last updated.nothing much has been happening.yes,yes,i know.repetitive much.but,really.life is so bleargh nowadays.it's so....boring?haix.ouh,anyways,i have a poem to share so,do take a read and comment yeah?=)

Day 1

I can't seem to do anything right,
Kept thinking of you,i can't sleep at night.
Without you i feel so empty,
But,i'll wait for your return,patiently.

It's hard to imagine how it's going to be,
Without you around to make my day lovely.
Never before,have you gone away for so long,
Guess,i just need to be strong.

Day 2

Come back soon,please,
I'm missing you badly,to say the least.
This emptiness is killing me,
I'm exaggerating,i know,please don't be angry.

Time is passing by slowly,
It's suffocating me.
I look to the moon,and thought of you,
I read your texts again,gawd,i miss you.

Day 3

The third day of the five day wait,
As usual,i can't think straight.
Then again,you'll be back in two days,
This emptiness is beginning to fade.

There's no moon tonight,but there are stars,
I wonder if you're thinking of me,wherever you are.
It's late now and i shall bid you good night,
And i hope to see you in my dreams tonight.

Day 4

Good morning sunshine,how are you today?
Are you enjoying your holiday?
I've been ranting for the last three days,
And i felt bad,didn't ask you if you're doing okay.

Where did you go to anyway,
I just realised that you didn't say.
Can't wait for you to come back tomorrow,
And,by the way baby,i miss you so.

Day 5

In a few hours time,you will be home,
No more will i feel so alone.
Have a safe journey home,my dear,
I'll be waiting for you,right here.

My darkened days are over,
And so are my fears.
Baby,i've been missing you,
And all i want to say is,i love you.

-asyraf G

i can't wait to see you.really.although i may not know when.but i'll wait.because i love you.Nurhafizah.=)

2009-12-03T21:59:00.002+08:00

.:confused:.

i don't really have much to say but.i'm confused.haha sucks.so anyways,Ninja Assassin is a good movie.you guys have to watch.although i would've liked it better if it's a mixture of japanese and english instead of a fully english movie.because,ninja's speaking english?that's wayyy uncool.but all in all,awesome movie.not for the faint-hearted.

and ouh,i got myself a PSP.haha helps to waste some time and not think about too much stuff.and,i need to start picking up my bass guitar again.i am getting super rusty.damn.

well,that's about it for now.will update sometime soon.=)

2009-11-18T04:47:00.002+08:00

.:It is time:.

well,i have been receiving complaints from readers.namely,ad-itogi,saying that i should blog more often.haha so,here i am blogging on a wednesday morning.and the best part is,i'm working later on.haha but,it's fine.i've been sleeping most of the time at home anyways.so,i guess,i'm quite fresh?gawd,i'm rambling.

ok,so topic for today is,music.ahaha but not what i would usually listen to.my topic for today is,KOREAN music.ahah better known as,K-Pop.i've never quite addressed this topic openly before and you guys might find me weird after today.but,nyeh,who cares.haha

the first k-pop group that i listened to was,yes,the Wonder Girls.typical right?haha this was like a few months back?i couldn't remember.so,like everyone knows,their song,'Nobody',caught the attention of the world.it was a hit.and,i,am not spared.ahah i have to thank Nazri bin Amlan for this.because he was the guy,that,so-called,introduced me to the Wonder Girls.haha

it started out with a song and then,2.and by the end of the fateful day,i had like,9 Wonder Girls songs in my mp3.so,i kept on listening.everyday without fail.those who spend their time with me,will know that,i kept on singing Nobody or Tell Me.haha and then,i got bored.the playlist was left un-listened.(if there's such a word)

fast-forward to 2-3 weeks back.i came across this dance video featuring,Park Shin Hye,a korean actress.the video,had 2 dance routines.the first was,Gee,by So Nyeo Shi Dae(SNSD,Girls' Generation) and the second was a remix of Satisfaction by Pitbull.so,after watching that video,i thought to myself.the song,Gee,had a very cute dance routine and the chorus was catchy as well.decided to give it a proper listen.(as the dance video that featured the song was like around 1.5 mins)and,i got hooked instantaneously.firstly because the song is catchy and secondly,the girls are HOT!haha and it doesn't help that my name is G as well.haha

so,at that point,i only had,10 korean songs.but,it was short lived.because,i started listening to 2NE1 (pronounced as 21).and yeap,you guessed it,i got hooked.i have almost all of their songs from their mini album.and also a reggae version of one of their hit single,I Don't Care.their songs are super catchy and they have this bad girl but elegant attitude going on.so,that's kind of a plus point.haha 4 Minute and After School is not too bad,but i still prefer WG or 2NE1.heh

ouh,i just heard the first bus coming to a stop.sorry,random.so,yeah.i think this is just a fad.*shrugs but,there's still more girl K-Pop groups that i've yet to listen to.like,Kara and T-ara.gave a song each a listen and,it's not too bad.haha

i think,i shall stop here.this post is going nowhere.hahaha

*disclaimer:
no,i don't quite understand what they are singing most of the time and,no,i don't speak korean.=)

2009-10-28T00:27:00.002+08:00

.:ponder:.

currently watching a malaysian drama series called 'sumpah bunian'.yes,it's so not me watching malay dramas.but,i'm not sure why i'm so involved with this one.it's a love story.but,not the typical ones.love across 2 realms.the series so far,is really,a work of art.

it's a short series of 19 episodes.currently i'm at episode 10.i can't help but feel for the lead character named 'Siti Hawa' which is portrayed by Nora Danish.the sacrifices that she made for love.left me in awe.i'm not sure why i'm so moved by her actions.but,i guess,being the typical loverboy that i am,i guess,the show,gave me an enlightenment.to not give up on finding love.

so,here i am,being all emotional and such.haha now,i really,really want to find my own Siti Hawa.a person full of love and would go tremendous length for the one she loves.heh

ouh wells,i guess,these are just my dreams and fantasies.and i guess,i just,want to be with you.=)

will you be my siti hawa?=)

2009-10-25T23:36:00.002+08:00

.:heartful:.

i'm missing you,day and night,
all i want to do is hold you tight.
such is the impact you have on me,
it may sound cliche'd but,i love thee.

this heart aches,for your presence,
i can smile in an instance.
you never fail to put a smile on my face,
truly,you are my saving grace.

my day,feels incomplete without you,
don't ask why,i have no clue.
i know,it's hard to believe what i say,
it's fine,because i'm here to stay.

my feelings,are sincere and true,
i just,want to be with you.
i may not be the best,but i'll try,
because,i love you,and it's not a lie.

-asyraf G

2009-10-12T01:56:00.002+08:00

.:the weekend:.

this weekend was a knockout.it was the best 3 days i had since a while.heh

movie with ad on friday night.the inglourious basterds.awesome movie.but kinda gory.haha some of the scenes are downright icky.hahahaha met the others,namely,mul,katak,ammar and leh after the movie.went to changi to eat and since katak was driving a lorry,he took a long route back home.i was enjoying the wind throughout the journey back home.haha ok throughout the night actually.hahahaha

saturday was the shit.haha 8 overgrown boys went hari raya visiting.2 cars,2 bikes.endless laughter and a whole lot of food.hahaha by the end of the day,we were tired.of eating,of smoking,of doing anything else.our stomachs almost went haywire.haha the food was awesominization.(and the shit that came after that,was better.hahahahah)

sunday was abit more relaxing.haha met helmi at 230 to get our shoes at far east plaza.i can (boastly) say that,i,own a pair of macbeths!muahahahahaha i've been wanting to get a pair since i was 15-16.and now finally i got the pair.wootss..ahaha shortly after,made my way to my aunt's place for an open house.as usual,it was happening.haha somehow,family gatherings has gotten better for me nowadays.i'm not sure why.*shrugs.ahaha i can't wait for the upcoming family chalet in december.=DD

i'm having ippt in 6.5 hours time and i'm so going to fail.hahahahaha

2009-10-01T03:34:00.001+08:00

.:Endless Struggle:.

i guess,it was never meant to be,
this thing called love,between you and me.
how i wish this was just a dream,
a nightmare so dark and grim.

but,it stood for what it is,
i can't help but say,it's you that i miss.
it's hard,not to think,
what went wrong,what was the missing link.

friends we are,and friends we will be,
you never had any feelings towards me.
i guess,i saw it coming,
i gave you my love,and i got nothing.

i shouldn't have gave you my heart,
it was a long shot right from the start.
i thought you were different,
but i was wrong,i should've listened.

it's alright,i'd say,
it's not your fault i'm feeling this way.
i'm in for a neverending quest,
to find my only one,i guess.

there's so much i want to say,
but,i shall leave it for another day.
my mind is blank,my feelings are numb,
i can't help but feel so dumb.

history,has once again,repeated itself,
time and time again,i've hurt myself.
i have to let it end,
i don't want to get hurt again.

even if our memories are few,
i will still miss you.
you will always be my star,
and i'll continue watching you from afar.

-asyraf g

2009-09-27T03:48:00.001+08:00

.:200:.

my 200th post.weird,because i had this blog since 2005.haha

ps:i should really stop this.haix

2009-09-17T06:17:00.002+08:00

.:10 things i hate about you:.

this is due to me watching the movie in the middle of the night a few days back.haha

i hate it when you talk and not look at me,
it made me think,do i look like a tree?

i hate it when you called and sound so sweet,
as much as i want to hang up,it's hard because i feel the heat.

i hate the way you say,you're not beautiful,
because i'd die just to be with you.yes i am a fool

i hate it when you're so adorable,
even worst when you are being fickle.

i hate it when you never smile,
because i want to catch a glimpse of it,even for just a while.

i hate the way you melt my heart,
because i can't bear for us to part.

i hate the way your hand fits mine,
can't help but think,am i out of line?

i hate the way you make me smile,
i feel so vulnerable,just like a child.

i hate it when you say you're not worth it,
you are sooo worth my time,every minute of it.

and i hate the way i can't hate you,
even if my life is jeopardised,i won't ever hate you.

-asyraf G

2009-08-28T02:16:00.001+08:00

.:Of highs & lows,Of happiness and sorrows:.

this emptiness is killing me,
draining my life away,slowly,but,surely.
in the dark of the night,i pray,
to be with the one i love,and drift away.

but,dreams are not reality,
it is not meant to be.
hope itself,is a deception,
dear God,spare my soul from this destruction.

how conveniently,being brushed aside,
is this a law,that i have to abide?
such a hindrance is the feeling called love,
if only i can rip out my heart and numb my nerves.

pain and suffering for most of my life,
i don't think i will survive.
cold is what i feel,
a nightmare so surreal.

as darkness falls,i seek solace,
little by little,i'm losing my faith.
free me from this haunting,
isn't my life worth living?

this ego,battered and bruised,
this heart,ripped apart and abused.
never thought i'd say this,but,it's okay,
surely,i will find my love,one fine day.

-Asyraf G

2009-08-25T00:26:00.003+08:00

.:If only it was easy:.

is it a big deal,
to tell you,how i really feel?
i don't want this friendship to be jeopardised,
i enjoy your company,and these,aren't lies.

i already know the outcome,so don't treat me differently,
if i get hurt in the end,please,let me be.
i won't blame you,my dear,
because,losing you,is my greatest fear.

i know,this is a fruitless wait,
but please,don't leave me in a lonely state.
even if we stay as friends,
i'm thankful,because,i don't want this to end.

i'll respect everything you say,
and i can't wait to hear your voice,everyday.
though,it may just be a crush,
you never fail,to make me blush.

i'm looking forward to more times with you,
or at least,go on a date with you.
you're always on my mind,
truly,you're a gem that is hard to find.

i won't say i love you,
but,i really,really like you.
you may not believe it,but it's okay,
because,my feelings are here to stay.

i may not be the one for you,
but,i'll always be there for you.
your presence,brightens up my day,
i guess,now,there's nothing more,left to say.

-Asyraf G-

2009-08-14T03:57:00.000+08:00

.:untitled:.

it was nice.to finally see you in person.=) hope to see you again soon.heheh

the hangover is an awesome movie!!!hahahaha

*you can suck on my chinese nuts,mutherfuckaaaaassss*

hahaha.ok bye.=D

2009-08-03T02:07:00.002+08:00

.:sometimes:.

sometimes,it's just hard not to go through it all over again.the quest for love is very taxing.but why do i keep on searching?i guess,only god knows.i'm done here.good luck with school yeah?=)

2009-07-17T01:18:00.003+08:00

.:mindless rants:.

okay,hmm.actually,i don't really have anything to blog about.so,forgive me if this post doesn't make any sense.hahaha i've actually come to terms about losing my phone.it could happen to anyone,i guess?just trying to make myself feel better here.haha i've been thinking alot lately.do i really need a girlfriend or just a companion.?just so that i'd feel wanted,loved and other stuff.i'm not sure actually.rejections after rejections.some are straight forward and some are just soooo annoying.gah!

maybe i should stop looking.stop trying my chance at any girl that i just got to know.hahaha i thought i've changed,but i've come to realise,maybe i have not after all.hahah it's absurd.really.people would say,"once bitten,twice shy".but for me,i keep on going for it.mengejar cinta,so to speak.i don't even know where my strength to cope with all of these rejections came from.hahaha but seriously,it's getting old.

i went somewhere today.brought back tonnes of memories.the good,the bad,the happy and the sad.this place is where i will spend most of my time at,a few years ago.and it so happens that,i saw an ex crush of mine.(who is happily attached now) i can't help but reminisce about the past.don't get me wrong here,we are friends and i know her boyfriend,so i'm cool with that.haha but you know,sometimes,you can't help but remember the good 'ol days.the first time i saw her,the first time i talked to her,and all other stuff.it brought back good and happy memories.sometimes i'll text her some random stuff.and sometimes when i see her,i'll say hi,bye or start a little conversation not more than 10 mins.haha it's different now,when she's with someone else.haha

i can't gaze into her eyes,smile upon seeing her smile.(because,seriously,her smile can still make me melt.haha) i just have to play it cool and act normal.which is kinda hard sometimes but yeah.do i have any other choice?i guess not.so yeah.haha i miss her.yes i'm guilty of that.and seriously,i don't know why.haha maybe it's just at the heat of the moment.haha *shrugs

i'm not sure why i'm typing all of this but heck,who would read my blog anyway.it's not as if my life is a drama that is filled with scandals and shit.haha sometimes,i want to text her and say,"hey,i miss you".haha but i can't.because if i do that,it's suicide.haha people will go like,"what the fuck yaw?".or something close to that.hahaha

it's annoying.really.when you can't say thing you want to say.haha but you know,as the saying goes,"some things are better left unsaid".*shrugs. but you know,all in all.it was nice to see her again.after such a long time.haha i think i still do blush when i see her.haha *shrugs.

well,i guess,i've said enough.woah.this has got to be one of my longest entry yet.hahaha annoying much?=p no names shall be mentioned here so that i won't be put in a spot.haha because sometimes,i say things that is just soooo inappropriate.haha

ps:watching power rangers is getting old.it doesn't make me feel happy anymore.=(

2009-07-13T00:10:00.002+08:00

.:ups and downs:.

this past few weeks/months is a roller coaster ride.a lot of my firends are serving the nation.sul,fah.amir,donk,ad,zulB and some others.i feel kinda empty.had our 2nd gig yesterday.it was awesome.today,i lost my phone.i'm sad.haix.contact me on MSN for my new number.cheers.

2009-05-27T01:14:00.002+08:00

.:Time:.

this time,it is really.getting boring.maybe i'm expecting too much when i'm not supposed to.*shrugs* ouh wells.what's new.it's been like this since,like,forever.please life,come up with something new.the trick's getting old yaw.gah!i feel so pissy suddenly.

on a lighter note,the 'ton-ing' session with kecik was very productive.haha we made a ballad/emo song.in a span of 5 hours.haha but our song is just 2.5 mins long.the title is,with you i feel so alive.hahahahaha it is a nice song,i think.haha shall upload it on facebook soon enough.=p

my friends are going off soon and i can't help but feel 'sian'.but,at the same time happy for them.mixed feelings actually.annoying much?hahahaha

these feelings are getting old.i think,i am finally numb to all of this.grr! i think i shall stop ranting and catch up on sleep.goodnight people.\m/

ps:Left 4 Dead is an awesome game.muahahahhahaa

2009-05-17T04:19:00.002+08:00

.:friendship:.

I am currently at mal's place and that bugger is sleeping so i shall blog.haha i shall dedicate this post to all of my friends.as they have been 'complaining' that I do not have a poem dedicated to them.hahahaha things like 'kiter ni saper','maner nak buat poem untok kiter' and some other stuff.hahaha

so I figured,why not write a poem for my friends.hahaha going out to all of my friends.new and old.but especially to those who have stuck with me through my darkest times.cheers to our friendship guys.=D you guys know who you are.so no names will be mentioned.hahaha because then,it'll be too long.heh=p

Years come and pass,
With you guys around,time really flies.
You guys were there when I frown,
And especially there when I'm down.

I'd never want to lose any one of you,
A friendship so pure and true.
Other friends come and go,
But you guys stuck with me,to and fro.

We may piss each other off,but it don't matter,
Because at the end of the day,we know we need each other.
I hope our friendship will never end,
Because i can't live without you,my friends.

We've been through our teenage years,
Now,lets see who gets married first.
True friends are hard to come by,
I'm just glad to have you guys in my life.

Together,we have experienced sadness,happiness and stress,
We laughed,we smiled,we cried and all that jazz.
So,I'll end this with a smile and a thank you,
I won't be who I am today without friends like all of you.

-asyraf g

2009-05-11T01:19:00.000+08:00

.:Of laughter and Smiles:.

i had fun with you.really.=D

2009-05-08T17:26:00.002+08:00

.:The One With Stars,Hopes and Miracles:.

i bought the book 'Stardust' yesterday before my duty.Been longing to read it ever since i saw the movie.and finally i got the book!yeay.haha okay so since i was having duty and such.i decided to read.it took me approximately 7 hours to finish the book.haha but it really is a good book.a tinge of humour,sadness and a whole lot of love.when i was going through the pages,i smiled,i frowned and i laughed.it is areally an experience.makes me want to find my own fallen star.=) well anyways,i've written a poem.inspired by the book itself.but pardon me if it's kinda lame and mundane or whatnots.haha and this is going out to my 'Star'.=D

Had I not wished upon a star,
That shined so bright from afar.
Had i not hoped for love,
That will take me to the clouds above.

I've loved before,
But long forgotten to who it was for.
Then,I met you,
My heart flutter when i saw you.

Like a boy I blushed a deep red,
I hoped on my knees,you won't see me in that state.
Every text from you made me smile,
Makes me believe i could fly for miles and miles.

Had it not been for common sense,i'd tell you i like you,
Because scaring you is the last thing i'd do.
You make me smile,you make me laugh,
It made me forget about other stuff.

I wish you're with me,here,
To whisper and sing into your ear.
Perhaps,all of this is only a dream,
And the possibilities are dim.

But,I wish for what it is,
And for a time of endless bliss.
Had I not wished upon a star that flew,
Just this once,i hope,it will come true.

-Asyraf G

2009-04-26T16:52:00.002+08:00

.:untitled:.

i'm not sure why i'm blogging now.but i'm kinda happy in a way.haha don't ask why.hehe

2009-04-20T22:50:00.002+08:00

.:Life:.

Life is very vague.Mysterious in some ways yet predictable in others.What i'm more concerned of is,love in life.I know I have gone through this topic quite a few times already in previous posts.But you know,sometimes,life takes on a whole new meaning.Especially after maturing.Being 20 changed my whole outlook on life.What I want in life now is so different from what I want in life a few years back.

It used to be.I want to feel loved,I want to love,I want attention and to a certain extent,I want a girlfriend.haha Yes,I was that shallow minded.Just take a look at my ex-girlfriend.No names shall be disclosed here.She was a rebound that lasted for a whole year.I didn't know that I have that much of a patience with anyone for that matter.hahaha

Girls come and go.Some stayed to be friends.While others,strayed away to the point of being strangers.It bugs me.Because,we were so close at one point of time and after everything else fails,we're not on good nor talking terms.Though i've tried to make things better,I guess it was just a waste of time.Only one girl stayed through the years.A person i hold so dear even if she's not my girlfriend.She taught me the true meaning of love.heh I came up with something.*eherm 'Love is not measured by the hugs or kisses that you get,but by the years the other person stays by you.Even if it's just as mere friends.'So to this girl.thank you so much.And,hmm,I love you.heh (as a friend la hehe)

There's this other girl that i'll remember.A person whom I thought is finally THE one.We were going on so fine,to a point where I have made up my mind.That i'll wait for her.I was so prepared to do that,but things took a 180 degree turn.We were not on talking terms and she was avoiding me.It was depressing.Especially when i was going to serve my NS in the coming weeks.To this day,I still have no clue on why she decided to delete me from her life totally.And seriously,I still do miss her til now.haix

But I guess,that's life.If there's no hardships,life wouldn't be life,would it?heh I think what i want in life now is to feel a sense of appreciation from life itself.I hope,once I can appreciate my life more,i'll love myself more and be happier than I am now.=) Because right now,i'm not really happy,but i'm contented with what I already have.heh =D

Well,I think I shall stop here.This IS getting too lengthy.hahaha Goodnight people.=D

2009-04-12T21:27:00.002+08:00

.:The Month:.

april so far has been pretty much rewarding.haha turned 20 a few weeks back and damn,i feel so old now.haha it was not much of a difference as compared to any other days but some people made my day by wishing me a happy birthday.people whom i thought would not even bother to remember my birthday.haha got wet due to the water bombs by helmi after jamming.hahaha and they bought me a t-shirt.*awwwww* but i can't wear it because,it'll show off my "assets".hahahahhahahahaha all in all,it was a good day.heheh

4th april is the date to remember.of darkness and light's first ever full set gig.it was awesome.many thanks to those who came and supported us.2 individuals made it much more happening than i thought it would be.kecik and adly.awesome stuff balls.haha

and then,the much awaited holiday.haha 9 boys in a foreign land.away from home and parents.KL was a total success.we had loads of fun.no hiccups whatsoever and last but not least the bond that we share.from the egoboys to the 9 knights to the al-marjan.it was every bit awesome from the start all the way to the end.next stop,Bali.haha

a few of my friends got their NS enlistment letters.and i'm pretty much excited for them.haha don't ask me why 'cause i don't really know actually.hahaha 2 of them got into the police force,1 got into the guards.and soon,all of my friends will serve their BMT and i'll be left alone for most of the weekdays to come.haix.not looking forward to that but yeah,still excited for them.haha

life has been pretty much mundane nowadays.except for the events that i've mentioned above.but other than that,life has been stagnant.i don't know what to say or feel anymore.it's like i'm going through it all over again.it is getting A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G.ulkh but nonetheless,i shall wait and see what happens next.whether it'll be a fruitful or a fruitless wait.i hope it's the former but yeah,whatever happens,i'll take it in my stride.heh =)

well,this is the end then.it is quite a lengthy post i should say.hahaha take care beautiful people.heheh

2009-03-19T22:45:00.002+08:00

.:its been awhile:.

okay so.hmm.where do i start.well,i guess work has been fine.tiring yes but kinda fun actually.haha don't wanna elaborate too much here.hehe life has been okay.not that exciting not that mundane either.but you know sometimes,things doesn't really go your way.i kinda feel lost in a way.im not really sure why.its bugging me,really.

sometimes i just feel like life is just so complicated.feelings are worst.im not sure why i say that but yeah.sometimes i feel so...empty.and i don't know why.annoying much.haha

well anyways.ill end my post here.take care people and until next time.=)

2009-03-04T00:19:00.002+08:00

a poem just for you.=) i miss you btw.hehe

.:Of Hopes & Patience:.

I never thought it'll be this way,
You're in my mind every night and day.
You gave me warmth,you showed me love,
When i'm with you,i'm on the clouds above.

You made your way into my heart,
I never want us to grow apart.
I just want to be with you,
It's inevitable just like the grass with the morning dew.

Though most of the time we're not together,
You'll always be in my heart for sure.
I'm looking forward to more times with you,
I hope you feel the same way too.

I'm glad that i've met you,
My love for you,sincere and true.
Your smile embedded in my mind,
Truly,you are one of a kind.

I know this is hard for you,
But it's okay,i'll wait for you.
I just hope that you'll never go away,
And pray that your feelings will never stray.

I feel blessed to have you here with me,
You made me whole again and I love you baby.
Sometimes I wished that you're by my side,
I could hug you from darkness to light.

Knowing you was never a regret,
I yearn for you,and that's that.
So baby would you take my hand and fly with me?
I'll embrace you forever,till eternity.

-asyraf g

2009-01-18T18:11:00.002+08:00

.:All Smiles:.

my weekends has been awesome to say the least.time spent out of camp is totally well spent wid frens.d kind whre u cant find anywhere else in the world.hung out wid ad kecik n helmi n some others wa pure awesomeness.hahaha had a ball of a time.i cant believe me ad n kecik spent a gd 30-45 mins dancing randomly outside of cineleisure while waiting for some people.hahahahah of d wing chun from ipman.to the eherm2 coming out from the mouth n shit.twas funny as hell.hahaha

met mal n hung out til 3 am den walking home.its been awhile.hahaha i dun really noe wad to say actually but heck.i figured,lets just blog for d sake of blogging.hahahahha

4 days to POP.hahaha

n hmm..i cant seem to not stop thinking bout you.hahahhahaha well,not on facebook at least.hehhe *winks*

we'll see how it goes.

*life work in weird ways*

2009-01-01T22:14:00.002+08:00

.:A New Chapter:.

so finally 2008 has gone by.ups and downs.highs and alot of lows.funny how fast this year has been.n in 4 months time,the big 2-0.damn boy.im gna be 20 soon.hahahaha read through my older posts of 2008.n well.it hasnt been quite a good year so yeah.alot3 of things happen.of broken promises and lies.of countless heartbreaks.from boy to man.thinking back,i guess things happen for a reason.it has always been that way,no?

so yeah.i have no new year resolutions.i figured,i wun be able to achieve them so y haf it in d first place,true?i just hope that this coming year will be better than the last.ive learnt quite a few things in life.tho a tad too late.but oh wells.better late than never ryte?i guess,its time for me to take a back seat n let life,destiny and future take its course.i can only plan but what happens will be up to God.so i hope this year,i wun be as depressed as last year.hahahahhaha

im tired of chasing.go figure.n i hope i wun turn back on my words.cox its my downfall.it has always been since im 14.its time i let it stop,age n die.i dun wanna get disappointed again n again n yada3.its an endless cycle.sheesh.ionoe where i get my strength from to overcome it over n over n over again.

come to think of it,i suck at this noe?hahaha an earlier post that ive read was that,'i am not boyfriend material' i guess its proven.and i hate to be correct about this.ahahaha people say,hey.just wait.she'll come.well i guess,ive stopped hoping.after a recent one.heh so yeah.well at least we're still friends.has'nt it always been?just friends?

so yeah.2009,bring it on.come whatever may,i'll stand tall.good or bad.

2008-12-28T16:08:00.003+08:00

.:Curtain Call:.

so hmm..2008 is drawing to an end.and how apt is it that my achievement in 2oo8 came at d very last stretch.hahaha i participated in a band competition 'Underaged Frequency'.wid ammar,dayne,azhar n zat.as usual we were late to register.hahahhahaaha wads new la ryte?so yeah we came without any supporters.no one at all.its just d 5 of us.so after d briefing,we had brunch n den we came back to settle in d holding room.n wait for our turn.

n ouh btw our band name is Of Darkness and Light.haha i forgot how nervous it was.cox its been a yr plus since ive performed n wow.my hands were sweating,butterflies in stomach and ouh,shaky legs.hahahha all 4 of us except ammar was feeling like 'eh aku nk terberak siol'.hahahah it was damn funny.

and then,came our turn.we played our original 'for we shall not be oppressed'.setting up was fast.surprisingly.hahaha n den my legs felt numb bt it was shaking.i figured,i hafta move if nt its gna get worst.so yeah we tore up d stage.k ah nt literally bt yeah.hahaha zat freaking moved!!hahaha in jamming sessions he's always d one sitting down wid his guitar.but ytd he freaking moved n his solo was yeah,clean.hahaha awesome job from us wid d performance.dayne got quite a few praises for his singing(screaming actually =D).after the 5 mins of madness from us,we got down from the stage n boy are we relieved.i screamed otw down the stage.hahaha

made quite a few friends.with sultans of the rising and last minute heroes.awesome bunchof people.

waiting for the results was pure agony at its finest.hahahaha shant dwell much into it.and so all d participating bands were on stage to receive a cert n wait for d top 3 prizes n individual awards.zat dint get best guitarist.ionoe y.haha best drummer went to sultans of the rising.best vox went to i forgot which band.hehe

n then,the moment of truth.i kinda forgot which band got 3rd.heheh and then,in second place, Of Darkness and Light!!!yes we gt 2nd.it was a pleasant surprise.awesome feeling.1st place went out to the last minute heroes.they're good.haha dey played an original reggae song.kudos to them n to us too.

so yeah.an achievement for 2008.n dis is only d beginning.heheh a confirmed spot for us will be in either april or may.watch out for us.hehehe

thanks to the organisers who organised this event.awesome job.n to us,baik peerrrr..ahahhaha

=DD

2008-12-06T05:07:00.003+08:00

.:'Le Finale:.

ok here goes.this is the 3rd n final poem that i haf in store.its still quite fresh n in a way unedited?so im sorry if its like too jumpy n if it doesn't make sense.hahaa i dun think i nd to say hu dis is for ayee..haha =DD

~Of Hopes & Possibilities~

Love is something i couldn't explain,
Unpredictable like the weather,not knowing when it'll rain.
Amidst all the challenges in life,
I found you here,right by my side.

I had fun talking to you,
You made me laugh,makes me want to be with you.
I find myself hypnotized by your sweet,subtle voice,
I wouldn't want to put down the phone if i had a choice.

You gave me strength when i'm down,
You make me smile when i frown.
Never thought you would stay here with me,
After all that has happened between you and me.

I realise now that it's you that has my heart,
It's been with you right from the start.
Never regret knowing you as a friend,
Someone that will stand by me to the very end.

You light up my life in any way possible,
Without you,i feel so gullible.
I thank you for being a part of me,
I'll remember you as someone who has set me free.

Words can't express my feelings for you,
Or how much i think of you.
But there's always 3 words that i'd like to say,
Maybe not now,but hopefully,sometime,someday.=)

-Asyraf G

2008-12-06T04:52:00.003+08:00

.:poem 2:.

okay..this next one is kinda weird too.n according to adly,exaggerated.haha but ouh wells.some poems are meant to be exaggerated y'know?heheh n this goes out to YOU.=DD

~Of Love and Dreams~

If there's only a star in the sky,
It is you that can make me fly.
You made my life shine so bright,
It makes me forget that i have ever cried.

I look up to the sky and all i see is you,
I look into my heart,my love for you is true.
You never fail to make me smile,
I've never felt love for quite awhile.

Please,love,give me a chance,
And save me your final dance.
I'll take you places you've never gone before,
And give you my heart and so much more.

You make me smile,you make me laugh,
Life now doesn't seem so tough.
I'm glad to have you here,
With you in my life,i have no fear.

My feelings for you will never stray,
I think of you every night and day.
I hold you dear,deep inside my heart,
i hope we'll never grow apart.

Even if we stay as friends,i'll still love you,
Because i've never met someone like you.
You taught me the true meaning of love,
Like an angel sent from above.

It's been ages since i last saw you,
Even so,i've never forgotten you.
The stars spells out your name,
Without you,life will never be the same.

I thank you for sticking around,
Maybe,just maybe,my one true love has been found.
I hope to be with you one day,
Because my feelings for you will never go away.

-Asyraf G

2008-12-06T04:32:00.004+08:00

.:Poems Galore:.

i haf 3 pomes done.2 in camp 1 at home.ahahha this first one was jux a random thot.so here goes.sorry if its kinda weird?in a way.heh n ouh its not going out to anyone.

~The Endless Wait~

This life filled with endless questions,
Sometimes,things happen without rhyme nor reason.
It's been awhile since i last heard from you,
Everytime i close my eyes,i think of you.

I'll never forget that smile and that voice,
But you went away,leaving me without a choice.
Why did you leave me here,
Dwelling in my darkest fear.

I never wanted to lose you,
What more to hurt you.
I'll cherish all the times we had,
And the laughter that we shared.

You haunt me now in my wildest dreams,
Filled with tears and endless screams.
How i've longed to see you again,
I've hope for far too long,it's making me insane.

But i miss you still,
I love you,still.
You never left my heart,
I've loved you since from the start.

I hope you still think about me,
But i know it's not going to be.
But i'll take it in my stride,
I'll wait for your return,every day and every night.

-Asyraf G

2008-11-29T16:04:00.000+08:00

.:smile:.

Babe,you make me whole again.=)

2008-11-16T19:21:00.002+08:00

.:It's Been Awhile:.

as d title goes,its been awhile since i blogged.heh alot of things has been happening.in camp out of camp.everywhere.obama is d new us prsident,a man gt mauled at d zoo n every other thing.

anyways,ive passed dat stage whereby i dread going back to camp.yes it still feels sucky.but hey at least theres d weekends.if it is spent well,i guess itll last till friday.because wadever dat im feeling.shitty,happy,pissed,sad or anything.ive realised deres frens n family which is just a text away.ive now realised dat wadever it is,at d end of d day or week for dat matter,deres always a place dat i hold so dear,deres frens i cant live without n deres family which i love so much.back at the place i call home.

i shall persevere.n wadever may happen,stupid postings or wadever shit nonsense,aka getting recoursed or what,deres always people back home to cheer me on.my main motivation ryte nw n since frm d beginning is frens n family.

my frens go way back.tampines secondary is where it all started.n den along d way i make new frens.dese ppl mean so much to me.n nt forgetting my pri sch mates as well.tho deres only afew im still in touch with.dey mean alot to me.

my mum,my sis n my bro.tho shit may happen,i still hold dem dear.esp my mum.really.i may nt show it bt yeah.hahaha

im contented with life yes.tho sometimes i feel lost.mixed feelings to be exact.

but all in all.i feel blessed to have a family.tho nt perfect.bt hey i still have a place to live in.and also frens dat will stand by me in good times n in bad.deres afew dat is straying away.bt i hope it wun be for long.n deres some dat is still pretty much dere for me.anytime.

guys,we may be busy with our own lives,but come whatever may,lets not jeopardise our friendship.we go way back.=)

i love every single one of you. adly,akmal,helmi,ammar,azhar,izzat,fuad,amir,huzaifah,sulhi,zulfadhli,zulhilmi,cornelyus,zakiah,aishah and whoever that ive missed im sorry but do know dat i love u all just as much.i won't be hu i am now without you guys.seriously.

n now back to camp.haix.haha =DD

2008-10-27T18:58:00.002+08:00

.:heavy:.

this always happens everytime im going back into camp.where i leave everything behind.friends and family.n in d process i left my sincere smile n laughter n even fun back at home.if deres 1 thing ns has taught me is dat,it would be appreciation.i appreciate my family n frens more now.seriously.i was bz smoking jux nw n i thot of a fren i knew since sec 1.Adly Ibrahim.i haven seen him 4 a whole week.n even tho i had a long weekend i dint meet him.so i thot.okay nxt wk im gna lpak wid him.ahhaha n so it seems coincidentally,he rang me up asked abt d a7x gig n d upcoming taste of chaos.i was like eh..how apt.hahaha

so yeah.i miss having mindless fun n conversations wid my peeps.whre talking cock is our normal conversation.hung out at azhar's crib till late ytd nyte n damn.i miss laughing like crazy n talk nonsense.whre we cud jux talk n nt get on each other's nerve.

back in camp,things are so different.im more reserved den hw i usually am.im still tryin to get used to everything.key words.still trying.yes we haf fun sometimes n shit bt its jux NOT THE SAME.i wanna go jamming as n when everyone is free,smoke freely.slack til d wee hrs of d morning n nt care abt anything.

n above all,i miss my freedom.im like a free bird which is caught n put into a cage.wif no news of d outside world.oh how i long to break free from this mindless phase of life.people say going into ns is a sign of maturity.guess im one of those few that struggles n cringes at d sight n sound of maturity.

call me backdated,i dun give a shit.

*please God i want my life back*

2008-10-25T00:37:00.002+08:00

.:why:.

y are deleting me frm ur life?cant we jex b frens again?where did i go wrong?was it wrong to say dat i miss u?seriously.i dint know u wud b like dis.sighs.

now..its really the time to forget about you.

for all those sleepless nights dat i had thinking about you.gex it was jux a waste of time.i gex u never wanted us to be frens again since dat incident.

i thought u were different.gex i was proven wrong.

on a lighter note,a7x was ok nt dat bad.dey dint play chapter 4 n second heartbeat.so it was abit of a disappointment.bt it was ok la..

wads next is taste of chaos balls..\m/

k la hafta go liao..take care..n to u..

thanks ah

2008-10-08T16:22:00.002+08:00

.:long overdue:.

first n foremost.salam aidilfitri.i noe i noe im abit late bt better late den never.raya dis yr sux.due to reasons we all know huh..fucking cheebye.n i sprained my ankle real bad on mon n had mc til today..ahahhaha i cant walk properly sia on mon bt thank god i can walk properly now.

so dats it..haix.

deep inside me i feel so restless.

2008-09-20T15:05:00.002+08:00

.:sound like thunder move like lightning:.

we haf dis cheer in ns so we hafta shout it out or sumthin..bt me n my bunkmates made a parody..ahahahah cox dey always say dat were slow n shit n we sound like girls..hahahhaa so our bunk cheer is or squad ah 4 dat matter.haha move like turtle sound like pussy.hahahaha fuck sia dis ppl.hahaa 2nd week was ok.tiring much n lack of sleep bt haix..wad to do..

im still missing u.its been 4 weeks now.

=(

2008-09-14T14:40:00.001+08:00

.:NS:.

it sux growing up..haix.i still do think abt u.dun ask me why.

2008-09-09T06:04:00.002+08:00

.:the time is now:.

well this is it guys.G-Man is off to NS in a few hours time.i'll miss everyone of you.like seriously.count down to 10 days ok?den ill b back for 2 days.=)

time to start a new life.take care beautiful people.pray for me yeah?

2008-09-08T20:30:00.002+08:00

.:1001 apologies:.

what's the point of waiting when i know its nt gna make any difference.why bother waiting when i know that uve already made up your mind.

i'm sorry for everything that ive said and done.

i'm sorry i laid my eyes on you.

im sorry i wanted to get to know you.

i'm sorry for falling so deeply for you.

i'm sorry i texted you everyday.

i'm sorry for making you cry.

i'm sorry if i have been a burden.

i'm sorry i forced this situation on you.

i'm sorry i held your hand.

i'm sorry for hugging you.

i'm sorry for kissing you.

i'm sorry for causing you to think so much.

i'm sorry i hurt you.

i'm sorry for everything.

i'm sorry i miss you.

and i'm sorry for loving you.

if my love caused you pain and distress,i'm sorry for hurting you in any way possible.i'm sorry for loving you too much that it hurts so badly now.

i should have known better.a person like me could never get you.someone who's always listening to underground music and a musician at that.

we are worlds apart.youre intelligent and full of dreams.im just a nobody.but i guess,i was clouded by what if's.and so i let myself known.i'm sorry.i know im selfish.

you deserve someone better.someone hu understands you more.someone hu will love you more.someone hu will nt make d same mistakes dat i did.someone hus better looking.someone hus more intelligent.someone hu doesnt smoke.someone dat listens to normal music.and lastly someone hu isnt a mat.

im just a wannabe musician dat dreams of selling albums n whatnots.

im going off tomorrow.n just now.i saw your look-alike.that person reminds me of you.i guess it made my heart be at ease for a bit.even though she's not you,she looks almost like you.

hate me all you want.i dun blame you.the last time i saw you was 17 days ago.im missing you more everyday.im sorry if i do.

take good care of yourself.good luck for the upcoming race n marathon.n im sure he'll come back to you after his studies.

cheers.n im sure i wont be seeing you again since 22nd august.

Don't wanna die alone without you here,
Please tell me what we had is real

2008-09-08T05:49:00.002+08:00

.:lost:.

*get it in your head.she wun come back.*

ill be away soon to serve the nation.ill miss you people.itas boys.jammers.swensens crew.friends from anywhere else.n ill certainly miss you.wads new.a heavy mind n a heavier heart.i feel so dead.so emotionless.too much emotions too little time.i dunnoe wad to feel anymore.

this sucks.life sucks.

will i ever get to see you again?

*minds screams;FAT HOPE!*

ouh wells.

i miss u larrr siaa...i wanna fucking cry dammit!!!!

arghhh!!!!

*sobs to death*

2008-09-07T15:23:00.002+08:00

.:of thoughts and feelings:.

every second i think of you,
you never left my mind.
every night i feel so blue,
i couldn't leave the memories behind.

i'm missing you everyday,
it makes me want to cry.
i hope to see you sometime,someday,
and it's not a lie.

but i guess,i know the answer,
and i'll leave you alone.
but i'll always be here,
if you wanna pick up your phone.

thanks for all the memories,good and bad,
i wish you all the best in whatever you do.
i'll cherish all the times that we had,
and before i end this poem all i want to say is,i will always love you.

-Asyraf G

2008-09-07T14:46:00.003+08:00

.:of truths and explanations:.

somehow,i cant stop thinking of you,
it's unexplainable,just like why the sky is blue.
but why do i feel that you're so faraway?
why is it that you're running away?

i miss the times that we had,
and all the smiles and laughter that we shared.
it brought back sweet memories of you and me,
but now,i feel so helpless and lonely.

i'ts like i don't know you at all,
but i'm waiting, patiently for a text or a call.
i can laugh and smile, but it's just a facade,
because i've missed you terribly, after we've grown apart.

i've been thinking of you 24/7,
i haven't been sleeping soundly even.
because i miss you,
i yearn for you.

i want to see your smile again,
i want to take away your pain.
i want the whole world to know that i love you,
that i want to be with you.

but baby, please don't keep me guessing,
it's hurting me bad and i feel like crying.
tell me if i'm the one for you,
i don't want to be left wondering without a clue.

you came into my life, full of light,
but it feels so dark now, without you by my side.
this isn't how i want it to end,
i guess you only treat me as a friend.

i don't regret knowing you,
i'm only sad that, you didn't treat me like how you used to.
it may be cliche'd but, i'll wait for you,
because maybe, just maybe, only then will i know why the sky is blue.

-Asyraf G

2008-09-06T05:46:00.003+08:00

.:bleargh:.

i think she's moved on..i should too..

*takes a gun*

*point's to head*

*pulls the trigger*

*ah crap no bullets*

*takes the gun again*

*throw out the window*

*moves on to a knife this time*

*cut wrists...eh wait tooo emo*

*takes another gun*

*reloads barrel*

*shoot self dead*

on a lighter note,i love my friends..=)

2008-09-04T15:19:00.003+08:00

.:of love and hate:.

is the love that i seek,has been found?
or is it just that my life has been turned around.
is this feeling real?
or is it just a dream?

never thought i would gaze upon the stars,
and thought of love,which left my heart with countless scars.
but you came by,
and suddenly i feel so alive.

1001 questions run through my head,
is this what they call fate?
but i took a step back,
and think of all the things that i lack.

so i just let it be,
in my mind i hope you will set me free.
after countless times of being played,
sometimes love is a feeling that i hate.

but then i thought,
what if i have never loved n lost.
would i know how it feels like?
or would i just fade away under the dim moonlight?

but,i've fallen for you,
and my mind wander deep into the blue.
is this the fairytale that i seek?
or is it a spell that will turn me into a freak?

but, i'll just let these emotions flow,
because i love you so.
let time decide on our fate,
i guess now,love is no longer the feeling that i hate.

-Asyraf G

2008-09-04T14:52:00.002+08:00

.:the end of a chapter:.

it was nice knowing you.eversince the first time i saw u.i wanted to get to know you n such.everything happened so fast.n before i knew it,i was falling for you deeply.den came d outings.i always have fun when ur around.really.like the time i dint wanna go off when i sent u home frm project meeting.if i cud haf a chance to stop time,i wud coz i dun want d moment to end.

i thought,things were gna be just fine.den it happened.both of us were at fault.bt i noe im to blame.if i hadnt initiated,things wudnt be as messy as now.

i noe sum things are better left unsaid n u dun want me to noe.bt y'know.im d type of person dat needs an explanation for everything dat has happened.y r u running away.y r u distancing urself frm me.y arent u replying my texts.its nt dat i wanna force u to reply bt sumtimes,im jus worried.n i wanna noe how n wad ur feeling.every night i text u sayin sorrie n such.i thought dat u wud at least tell me something.anything.be it good or bad i dun care.i wun judge u.i wun be mad at u.ill understand.i noe hu i am.if u jux want us to be frens,u cudve just told me.i wudnt be angry.ur nt leading me on.i noe ur nt ready n such n i understand.bt i jux nd an explanation.haix.

bt i guess,ive figured it out even if u dint tell me.i noe nw dat im just a friend to u n nothing more.i get ur message.ive been thinking day in n out.sayin ill wait for u n such.bt u jux went mia.nt replying nt texting.i noe u may be bz n stuff.bt all i nd is jux 5 mins of ur time for a msg.n so ill leave it at that.im still here if u wanna text me tho.n i wun be an egoistical maniac by nt acknowledging u as a friend.cox i still wud.dat was hw we started.as friends.so ill be here if u wanna text me.do take care of urself.

goodbye friend,til we meet again.
may peace be upon you.

2008-08-29T01:10:00.002+08:00

.:sleepless nights and endless thoughts:.

day 3,4,5

as the title goes,i haven been sleeping well.haix spent one night at mac wif faiza n van.n ytd nyte guess wad,i cant sleep.at all.slept at 8 sia.haix.n reading her blog posts,seems dat shes nt havin d same problem as i am..haix.or mebbe its jux dat she dun wanna let me noe hw shes feelin since she noes i read her blog.bt ouh well.

im so sick n tired of this noe?thank god for friends.you guys noe hu u are.i really3 feel like giving up now man..like seriously giving up.

on a lighter note,im hooked to a dangdut song.yeap u gt dat right.dangdut.hhahaha d title is peypek..ahahhahahahahhaha all courtesy to zat.hahahaahahahhaa

haix..i miss her.n u noe wad fuck it.

I MISS YOU,AMALINA!

It's empty and cold without you here

2008-08-27T15:23:00.002+08:00

.:heavy heart.always:.

Day 2

so..we kinda cleared things up abit.bt it wasnt much of a difference.im still havin sleepless nights.n been keeping myself bz wid slacking music n smoking.i had 3 sticks in a row on 1 seating.so u think?heh but i'll wait.really.ulkh, i sound so disgusting.eurghh

in 13 days im of to somewhere else.damn.i hate maturing.ouh wells.

i want you to know that,
i miss you,
i miss you so..
where do you run to,so faraway...?

my life has no meaning anymore.

2008-08-25T17:43:00.003+08:00

.:on the verge of giving up:.

Day 1

do i not deserve to be happy?wad mistake have i done this time?im sooo tired of this.maybe i should just give up on this thing called love.its taking a toll on me.sleepless nights.journey to chinatown to meet her bt shes already back hm.frm 10 to 1.time spent on busses,trains and on foot.frm pasir ris to chinatown to punggol n den back to tampines.in 3 hrs.wasted trip?maybe?i dunnoe either.i dint even meet her.n she said she needs some time to be alone.haix..

n ouh btw,dis marks d first day of the endless wait.

its all up to u now.ill be here waiting for you patiently.
but somehow i think there's nothing left for me to wait..='(

2008-08-21T14:48:00.002+08:00

.:of dreams and reality:.

ouhkaeee..hmm..she told me she had a haircut n i dreamt of her ytd wid a new hairstyle..haha im nt sure if it wud look d same bt ouh wells.hahaha ok so anyway her hp is functioning again.so dats good..like totally..hahaha

been wasting my time actually at home.online movies and what nots.its really boring sometimes noe?i never knew i'd say this but,i miss playing with ice creams in the fountain.hahahah ionoe when im goin to dine in at cop and ctp..hu wanna follow eat swensens?hahahaha n ouh not free horr..pay 4 urself one..ahhahaa

damn i feel so lame..haix..k la.bye.heex

i'll go wherever you will go =)

2008-08-18T15:24:00.002+08:00

.:1001 feelings:.

i dun really noe wad to write actually..hahah bt ive quit my job so nw im waiting for d next part of my life.goodbye teenage life hello maturity.its funny when people say that national service will change someone.ionoe if its for sure cox i haven go thru it yet.but oh wells.d faster i go in d faster ill come out ryte?heh

you noe sometimes i wonder if i stand a chance..hmmm...am i goin too fast or too slow.im nt sure y'know.but on a lighter note.i'm falling deeper for u by the second.i miss u.really.i cant wait to see u again.really.=) and I Love You..heex =D

when i see your face,my heart bursts into fire.=)

2008-08-08T12:28:00.002+08:00

.:of late night conversations and confessions:.

its okay if you feel that way.i don't want to go too fast either.that's why i didn't want to tell you earlier.but u keep pestering n u wanna noe.so i told you.thanx for being honest with me.n i understand that you're a very busy person and may not be ready.not yet at least.thats why i tell you.i'll wait for you.this time i'm serious.im going to wait for as long as it takes.until you are ready to tell me the good news or the bad news.but even then,you will always stay in my mind and in my heart and most importantly.you will always be my friend.

won't you fill my heart with endless warmth?
and you always know how to make me smile.
really.i'm glad to have found you.=)

2008-08-07T19:30:00.002+08:00

.:life and its endless surprises:.

im a happy happy lad.seems like it was nothing just a mere misunderstanding.hehe been feeling happy lately.going to sleep always with a smile n above all,an awesome person to talk to.=)

eversince i said bye n i saw u smile,i kept thinking of you.n when i got to know you.i fell for you.hehe.you wun read wad i say here cox u dun noe my blog bt hey.hu cares ryte?hehehe

well..i kinda hafta go.hehe take care beautiful people.=DD

2008-08-05T22:44:00.002+08:00

.:endless struggles ongoing sadness:.

why is it that when something good happens,something bad will always follow through almost immediately.?do i not deserve to be happy.?dear God.spare me from all of this.haix.damn,i need a break.seriously.

on another note,i have finally managed to solve the 3 by 3 rubix cube.but with all the things that is going on,i don't really feel accomplished.hais...

2008-07-28T15:52:00.002+08:00

.:awesome weekend:.

july 25th

went to watch x-files at d movies.awesome show.awesome people.awesome trainride home.=)

july 26th

went for a gig at rp.plainsunset,caracal n d chics rock big time.ahha i had a picture taken wid tasha lee!haha

july 27th

jamming was the shit!tong seng food is love.getting high on double apple sheesha is life.

i had an awesome weekend.hahahaha n i'm falling for you as fast as a shooting star.but i guess u may not know it.ouh wells.=)

*Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you*
*Because a girl like you is impossible to find*
*You're impossible to find*

k bye..hahaha

2008-07-23T16:54:00.002+08:00

.:bored phucks:.

ok just because im bored n tired n all things negative,i shall attempt to blog.ahhahaha my life is a spiral which is constantly spiralling downwards.n everytime i try to spiral my way up i get pushed down again..hmm..weird but yeah.i feel numb.i dunnoe wad to feel.i feel soooo emotionless..damn i need a smoke.haha

a single cigarette can change your day.really.especially when ur feeling down,all u nd is a smoke.hahahahaha omg im blabbering on d internet.shit.hahaa

k la i wanna go out n smoke.u ppl take care..bye bye.=)

2008-07-19T16:48:00.002+08:00

.:Random Thot:.

is this really happening again??haixx..

*shoots myself dead*

*falls on the floor in a pool of blood*